The Day of Sue
by Angel of the Axis
Summary: FOR ANTI-MARY SUE AUTHORS ONLY! When a Mary-Sue named Mary-Sue comes to the Hetalia universe and makes the plot her BITCH, what stuff will go down? Meanwhile, Angel and Devile are hot on her trail to end this Mary-Sue once and for all. Will they succeed? Or will they submit to their unfortunate fate? Rated T for immature stuff. Written almost like a five-year-old on crack. R/R!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Just as the title says, the day a Mary-Sue by the name of Mary-Sue came to Hetalia and screwed things up, BIG TIME. But OH JOY! Angel and her alternate self Devile have come to save everyone! But can they trust anyone anymore because of Mary-Sue's spell? Find out on The Day of Sue! WARNING: Slight Crack and LOADS of shipping, especially BUTTSMEX. LOOOOOTS OF BUTTSMEX.**

* * *

_THE DAY OF SUE CHAPTER I: Mary-Sue Alert!_

Life was perfectly normal in the universe of Hetalia. Countries were shipped, countries argued, made out and did things that you can only imagine, and then came the day Mary-Sue came to town.

Chapter 1: Mary-Sue Alert!

In a perfectly regularly normal Hetalia meeting, America was yelling out one of his ridiculous plans when suddenly, a perfect blonde-haired blue-eyed big-boobed teen with an extremely short dress and high heels, especially makeup, jewelry and other stuff burst through the doors.

Everyone except Canada (Because he was invisible to people, you know) rushed to her side instantly and fell IN LOVE with her!

"Like, hi! My name is Mary-Sue and I've come to take over your universe! Hon!" She chirped in a cheerful, high voice.

No one paid any mind to the 'Take over the universe' part because they all were, like, wanting her to have their babies and stuff!

So she commanded them, "Fuck like bunnies and cum all over the place and me! Then fuck me like bunnies~!"

They obeyed, all except for Canada, who just watched them absolutely horrified.

"Ah~ Oh, Germany-y~!" Italy cried, grabbing onto Germany's shoulders.

Everyone in the audience sweatdropped.

Canada suddenly snapped to his senses and he dialed the 'special' number on his phone, the one reserved for absolute emergencies.

* * *

MEANWHILE...IN ANOTHER PART OF THE WORLD...

...

_Ring ring..._

_Ring ring..._

_Ring rin-_

"Hello? Oh, hey, Canada." Angel casually examined her bare nails while Devile waited patiently for the call to end so she could go back to watching Angel battle Tabuu in Subspace.

"Uh-huh...What?! Oh, no fucking way!" Angel started to panic.

Devile only raised a perfect black eyebrow, her eyes narrowing.

"All right, I'll be there right away. Okay, thanks, bye." Angel then hung up and rushed towards her closet.

"What did Canada, like, want?" Devile asked with a perfect French accent.

"It looks like a Mary-Sue is on the loose." Angel explained, pulling on her fighting gear, with her katanas.

Devile gasped dramatically. "Oh, that's horrible! Animal friends, unite!"

She sang a high note and suddenly, birds, squirrels and other animals oh my came to her side, and she spoke to them in French what was happening.

Angel rolled her eyes as she tugged on her black fingerless gloves, with a blue stripe at the knuckles.

Devile finished, and she was rewarded with a standing ovation from the animals.

"What'd they say?" Angel called.

"They said they'll help us and Canada fight that awful Sue!" Devile responded, putting in her very favorite pink fighting dress, complete with a sword that resembled a folded-up umbrella, and there was no sharp end visible. To anyone that wasn't Angel or Devile, or even their male selves in the alternate universe, it looked like a normal pink umbrella.

Angel groaned. "Devile, how on earth can you STAND so much pink?"

Devile glared at her. "I love pink! I love it, I'm obsessed with it! Let's face it: I LOVE LOVE LOVE PINK!"

Angel rose her arms in defense. "Whoa, okay, okay! Sheesh, didn't have to yell at me."

Devile grumbled to herself as she put on her pink sneakers, over her darker pink socks.

Angel shivered. "I think you wear too much pink."

Devile hissed, "If you don't shut up about my pink, I swear I will shove this 'Umbrella' up your ass."

Angel gulped and ran to their ride: A cool fighter plane/spaceship with a built-in fridge and a nice little purple porta-potty while auto-pilot took care of the flying for you. On the sides were the words "ANGEL OF DEATH" and a nice little red stripe in the background of said words, running all the way around the plane's middle. In the front sat two seats, marked "ANGEL" and "DEVILE".

Angel assumed the weaponry pilot's seat and Devile assumed the main pilot seat.

Angel put on her blue and black hat with goggles and glanced at Devile. "You ready?"

Devile's hat was...well, what else but pink and white? "Ready as I'll ever be."

Angel nodded. "Then let's fly...and save our friends! C'mon, we have a date with destiny."

Devile got all excited. "Ooh! Ooh! Are we actually-"

"You know what? I don't even need a response for that statement." Angel interrupted, and she started the engines. Devile huffed and put her hands on the wheel.

A few short seconds after the main engines had been started, Angel pressed some buttons rapidly and set their course to Hetalia.

"Now opening the portal to: Hetalia." A voice spoke from the speakers on all corners of the plane.

Angel whooped. "Hetalia, here we come! Prepare to meet the end of the Day of Sue!"

Devile was confused. "Day of Sue? What's that?"

Angel groaned. "You know, if I weren't so afraid of your umbrella sword, I'd say 'Shut up and drive', but...nah, shut up and drive, woman!"

Suddenly, a 'bing'-ing sound came from outside the plane, and a portal that resembled the Nether portal opened up, except for the Hetalian portal you used Quartz stone, not Obsidian, and the inside of th block portal was a light blue, not a deep purple.

As they shot through the portal, Angel screamed, "We're blasting off again!"

-LINE-

**A/N: I will LOVE you if you know the references in this chapter.**

**So...Devile. Her name is pronounced Deh-Vil-Ay. She's 2P!Angel (If you haven't already guessed). Devile has long, straight black hair and crystal blue eyes, LOVES pink and wears a pink dress with a darker pink sash at ALL times. She has pink Sketchers and darker pink socks. Her skin is tanner than mine, because I'm basically white cheddar cheese (From those nummy Cheez-Its!). She hates everything I like, and she likes everything I hate (Including those crappy baby shows. Sorry, Barney!)**

**She's not as smart as me (Not that I'm bragging about my intelectual level, heavens no!), and she absolutely HATES it when people make fun of the color pink, down to the point where she'll actually cut off their vital regions (If they're a guy).**

**Also, I'm going to be making a Minecraft map about this. Not a playable map YET, because I don't have an XBOX or whatever Minecraft account YET. It'll take me some time (*Cough cough* A LOT *Cough cough*), but I can assure you, I'll make: Angel's home, The Angel of Death, the World Meeting Hall, Angus' home, The Angel of Death Mark II, and a couple of others. Oops! *claps hand over mouth* - No wait, why'd I do that? I didn't spoil anything at all, I swear.**

**Basically, this is a kind of parody/troll story for all of us Anti-Mary Sue/Anti-Gary-Stu writers out there. LOTS OF HUGS YOU GUYS!**

**And yes, Male!Angel and Male!2P!Angel WILL NOT be making an appearance in this story. Sorry! Just a warning: There might be spoilers for Hetalia if you haven't seen the show/read the manga before. Just to warn you.**

**And to all the flamers out there: BE NICE! I'm not singling out any one Mary-Sue/Gary-Stu writer, so please be nice in the reviews section/in my PM inbox. If I don't flame your stories because you have Mary-Sues/Gare-Stus, why should you flame me? I know that here in the USA there is all that Freedom of Speech shit, but c'mon, people! BE NICE TO EACH OTHER!**

***huff* God, I hate it when people get flames for NO REASON AT ALL.**

**Oh, and to all my enemies out there: GO AHEAD AND FLAME ME, BITCHES! SEE IF I GIVE A FUCK!**

**I'm sorry if I upset anyone, it's just that I'm a little mad right now because of a personal chaotic fiasco that happened today.**

**But it's just that everyone who flames gives out the message: Hey! I don't like your story because I don't agree to what you're saying! - And so on and so forth. It's not that they're disagreeing that's the problem, it's the WAY they say it. They give out the message that they're immature little five-year-old faggots that have a problem with every writer in this site that's not them or their friends.**

**Okay, enough of my rant, it's just that this story is ONLY intended for us Anti MarySue/GaryStu writers out there. For all of you who actually give a fuck about the fact that I'm not for Mary-Sues and Gary-Stus, DEAL WITH IT.**

**Any anonymous flames WILL BE DELETED because I'm going to think that you're an immature little pussy who can't tell me IN THEIR ACCOUNT that they don't like my story WITH REAL REASONS, not some flaming shit. Any non-serious flames from actual users will be used to keep myself warm for the winter (Because it's cold as hell up here in the winter), and to cook for my family and I. M'kay? M'kay.**

**So enough of that angryness, please R/R and (This is optional) please tell me what you would like to see happen later on.**

**If enough people like this, then I will post a sequel!**

**M'kay, bye~! (^_^)_(")**


	2. Chapter 2

THE DAY OF SUE CHAPTER II

**A/N: I'm just warning you: There WILL be some yuri and a shit-ton of yaoi, as well as tentacle monsters. Also, I KIDDED YOU! :D Angus and Devilo (Pronounced Deh-Vee-Loh) WILL be making an appearence.**

* * *

"Now entering dimention: Hetalia."

That had been announced over the loudspeaker hours ago. Angel was bored, and Devile was nervous.

"What if everyone hates us? What if they try to kill us?"

"Girl, you need to chill." Angel said, nonchalantly. "The worst they could do to us is torture us, but I would call for backup before we'd let ourselves get captured."

Devile nodded. "Okay."

* * *

We had been flying for hours, to the meeting place all the way over in Hong Kong.

Devile sighed loudly. "When are we going to get there? I have to go."

I glanced in her direction. "If ya gotta shit, ya gotta go shit. Don't worry, Auto-pilot will take care of everything for you."

Devile sighed once more. "Thank goodness."

Devile turned on Auto-Pilot, stood up and left to the purple porta-potty on the other side of the room.

As soon as Devile had the door shut and locked, I yelled, "Oh shit! Devile, I'm glad you're not here to see this."

"What's going on?" Her muffled voice rang out.

"Well, I'll let you see when you're done. But I gotta warn you: It's pretty awful."

A couple of minutes passed and she was rubbing some sanitizer on her hands, and as she sat down, I pointed down to the Earth below.

Her eyes nearly popped out of her head. "Holy fuck."

I stared at her. "Holy shit, you just cussed!"

She gasped and clapped her hand over her mouth and started to cry anime-style tears. "I cussed! Oh no oh no oh no oh no...I'm so going back to Hell for this!"

I sighed, slapping her. "Snap out of it."

She finally calmed down and took a breath. "I'm okay now."

Below us was the most brutal sight we'd ever see.

People were getting killed, fucked to high heaven, and just plain tortured until they begged for death. And as we got closer to the World Meeting headquarters in the heart of Hong Kong, I gasped.

"Oh my fucking yaoi-hating God...look at that."

The headquarters looked like a mental assylum: Windows broken, some of the roof had been set on fire, and...oh my God, was that cum on the wall?!

"Oh my God, is that cum on the wall?!" I yelled in disgust.

Devile cringed at the bloodred building.

I swiftly held Devile's hand. "I swear to God, if you pass out, I will leave you with that damn Mary-Sue for a week."

Devile gasped for breath as her nervous disorder was kicking in. "I-" *Gasp* "-promise."

Finally, as we landed in the not-so-beautiful courtyard, I grabbed our bags, weapons and all, and pulled Devile out of the spaceship, and I kissed the red stripe next to the door.

"Goodbye, Angel of Death," I whispered, holding it one last time.

The ship responded with a gentle hum as the door slowly closed, and a lone tear made its way down my cheek.

"If we never come back, I want our families to find this." I said, and promptly slid several sheets of paper in the door before it closed for good.

Devile sighed. "So now what?"

I smirked. "I shrink the ship so we can carry her with us at all times. That way, if we need to make a quick escape, we can always enlargen her again."

Devile nodded. "Okay then."

As I shrunk the ship, Devile wandered off to a stone staircase heading to the front doors, which were gigantic.

I ran up there only seconds after, the ship having sat snugly in a secret inner pocket in my backpack.

I looked to Devile. "You ready for this?"

She nodded. "Yes."

I grinned. "Then let's kick some Mary-Sue butt."

With that said, I kicked open the double doors and stepped inside, cringing a little when I stepped in a visible puddle of blood.

"Eww..." I groaned.

Devile shuddered.

"Let's go. C'mon, we have to find Canada, because he's seemingly the only one not effected by Mary-Sue's curse." I ushered her down the hall, through many turns and twists, until I saw two doors with a sign above the door. "WORLD MEETING HALL. COUNTRIES ONLY!"

I gave Devile one last look and cautiously opened the double doors.

It seemed that no one was it sight, but cum was EVERYWHERE: On the walls, on the floor, even some on the ceiling! It seemed that whatever had gone on in here had been orgy-riffic. Ha ha (NOT).

"Eww ew ew EW!" Devile nearly screamed, but I clamped my hand over her mouth just in time.

"Quiet!" I hissed.

"Actually..." A high, feminine yet annoying voice chirped from the shadows.

We both swiveled around in time to see Mary-Sue, as it would seem, with the Axis at her side.

Tears rushed into Devile's eyes. "J-Japan, why?"

"Devile, don't give in!" I shouted. "They're under Mary-Sue's spell. He wouldn't act this way in real life! Keep telling yourself that, and you'll be fine."

"That's true," Mary-Sue mused to herself, then suddenly snapped her perfectly manicured, slender fingers.

All of a sudden, we were bound arm and leg by rope, and Italy and Japan held us bridal style with Germany in the lead, as Mary-Sue cackled evilly.

"Finally!" She exclaimed. "With all of the last Dimentional Avengers captured, I can finally bend the plot over, quite literally, and make it my bitch for all eternity!"

I smirked. _Not for long._

With a shout of "ANGLUPH KATPHREY!" Our male counterparts burst into the room.

"Sheesh, what took ya so long, Angus?" I yelled at the other blondish-brown haired boy in the room.

"Sorry," He responded with a killer smile. "We were having some trouble with a stubborn Gary-Stu in the South Park dimention."

"What in the hell is going on here?!" Mary-Sue exclaimed.

Angus, who was my counterpart, smirked at her. "Your extremely short reign of terror is over, Mary-Sue!"

And thus, he pressed a switch on his jacket.

...

.

.

.

...All was quiet for ten seconds, when it happened.

The floor gave way under the Mary-Sue, and she screamed in agony as a giant tentacle monster burst through the wooden floorboards, writhing and wiggling all around her, snaking their way around all four limbs, securing her in midair.

Angus smirked at the Axis and pulled out a strange-looking sword, and sliced through them in 3 quick strokes, one stroke each.

"What are you doing, you dumbass?!" I screamed.

"Don't worry, they'll be fine! This sword only knocks them out. It doesn't do any _real _damage to them."

Devilo grinned devilishly at us and slashed through our ropes, not even scratching us with his expert blades.

"Now that you're free, watch as Mary-Sue's power gets taken away from her." Angus laughed at the helpless Mary-Sue, still being suspended in midair by the thick, yet slender tentacles.

"No way..." My eyes widened. "You actually got the help of..."

"TentacleSlendy. Right." Angus grinned at the blonde. "Having a good time up there, blondie?"

"But wait...how does this take her power away?" Devile asked, tilting her head curiously.

Angus turned to her. "When the head Mary-Sue forcefully loses her virginity, for example, in a tentacle rape, then her powers disapate and everything goes back to normal for only until midnight. At midnight, regardless if she loses her powers even at 11:59, they'll come back, only stronger than before. Same with Gary-Stus...only _that _one was way too bloody to talk about."

Devile nodded. "But then, didn't she already lose her virginity? Because Canada told us that all the countries, Sealand included for once, were having a massive orgy and there was TONS of Mpreg, whatever that is. Honestly, I hate reading."

Angus scratched his head. "Well, it's rather complicated, but Mary-Sues and Gary-Stus alike both never lose their virginity, except with someone they really love or if it's forced. then at midnight, it comes back to them, thus their powers come back and everyone who was under mind control are brainwashed yet again, only stronger and stronger the more the Marys and Garys lose their virginities. I've heard that it's not as easy to steal it the second time around, though, so we need to put an end to her immediately. We already sealed Gary-Stu in an un-unsealable cage that is made to last an eternity so this never happens again."

Devile opened her mouth again to say something, but was interrupted by Mary-Sue's scream.

Mary-Sue had a (what seemed like) mile-long black tentacle completely embedded in her vital regions, including her ass, and there was one wrapped around each breast, and one in her mouth. They looked like they were vibrating, even.

Mary-Sue's muffled screams of mixed pain and pleasure soon increased as the tentacles came suddenly, coating her with that familiar white coating as it nearly choked her.

At last, the tentacles let her down, and she lay, panting and gasping for breath with moans mixed in there somewhere, and the tentacles disappeared just as fast as they'd appeared.

"Dude, that was kind of harsh." I commented, staring at Mary-Sue with a little bit of sympathy. "You could have just raped her yourself."

Angus shook his head. "It only works when it's with tentacles. We learned THAT the hard way."

I threw my hands in the air. "So that's it, then?"

Angus let out a breath. "The only thing left is to seal her in a cage much like the one that Gary-Stu is in. They're both set to last an eternity, and they won't age in the process of being trapped in there forever."

I nodded. "All right, sounds good. Let's do that."

* * *

**A/N: I swear, if anyone gets the reference about the tentacles, I will spam you with fangirling.**

**Yes, it's from an anime. :D**

**All right...next chapter may be the last one, and if people like this a lot, I may do a sequel.**

**All right, enough rambling.**

**K bye~ (^-^)_(")**


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